By: Oliver
When first looking
at the family structure, a traditional family is the ‘natural reproductive
unit’ with a father, mother, and children who live under the same roof (Bell, 2002). With that
said, many people believe that only traditional families can be successful in
raising children. However, over the last few months, I have been reading many
articles that explain how successful adults come from families with strong
relationships between family members. With this said, I wanted to find proof
that single parents can have successful families, just like traditional
families.
I found this quote
from an article, "What's
important is not whether they are raised by one or two parents. It's how good
is the relationship with the parent, how much support they're getting
from that parent and how harmonious is the environment,” says Michael Lamb, a
fatherhood expert (Jayson, 2008). Even though I grew up with only my mother (my
parents are divorced), I had very strong relationship with my mom, which I felt
helped me stay focused in school and avoid getting into trouble. Single parent
families’ produce successful children just like a two-parent family, if not
better. Michael Lamb believes the crucial component of successful children comes
from the relationship between the
child and the parent (Jayson, 2008). Basically, Michael Lamb is saying whether
it is two parents or one parent, it doesn’t really matter. What matters are the
relationships within the family; the stronger these relationships are, the stronger
the family will become.
In another article that I read, Elaine Henry discusses why family is so
important in her article, Family Matters.
She states, “A supportive family environment for
children, especially in the earliest weeks and months after they are born,
greatly increases their chances for optimal cognitive, social-emotional and
physical development as well as for better learning outcomes and more
successful transitions from home to school and through other life transitions”
(p.46, Henry, 2006). Furthermore, for adults to be socially responsible,
independent and have the basic skills to participate in the workforce come from
this supportive environment and with early education (Henry, 2006).
Basically, Elaine Henry believes that parents have the tools and ability to
create successful adults and it all starts with support and care at an early
age. This early support and care will lead to a stronger relationship with
parents and their children, which reinforce why families matter.
Another piece of information that I found is
how crucial support is for families, especially for single parents. Single
parents along with other non-traditional families (e.g. stepparents, adoptive)
rely on support from extended family, whereas a traditional family has both
parents who can rely on each other. If there is a lack of support, it can cause
and lead to harmful environments that become a damage to a child’s development,
which may lead to getting into trouble as a teenager or adult (Wolcott, 2000).
In addition to Pollack’s argument (an author from an article I found),
he also mentions how a father’s role is far from insignificant and if a child
is not living with both biological parents (due to divorce or separation) it is
crucial for the child to have a strong relationship
with both parents. Families produce children who
become successful adults. These young adults must give back to society, to the
best of their ability. However, when families are faced with harsh factors
(e.g. single parenting), then the family faces difficulty. It is through this difficulty
that can make or break new adults. Furthermore, how children are raised affects
society as a whole and whether there are successful or not, the cycle repeats.
A family is bonded by
relationships and nothing in our world can replicate the feelings of love and
comfort that our families create. Nevertheless, families matter, a lot.
Separated or not, families are what anchors us to tradition, family morals, and
it reminds us who we are, where we came from. It is a foundation that is hard
to create and hard to break. It is what makes us unique. Families matter and so
do the relationships within the family. Without strong family relationships,
people could problems with parenting, dating, and even living in society.
Families make us who we are and without them, we are lost.
References:
Wolcott, J. (2000, September 13). Solo With A Son. Christian
Science Monitor , p. 15.
Henry, E. (2006). Families Do Matter. Family Matters
((74)), 46-47.
