A Community Paper: Why Families Matter

By: Oliver

When first looking at the family structure, a traditional family is the ‘natural reproductive unit’ with a father, mother, and children who live under the same roof (Bell, 2002). With that said, many people believe that only traditional families can be successful in raising children. However, over the last few months, I have been reading many articles that explain how successful adults come from families with strong relationships between family members. With this said, I wanted to find proof that single parents can have successful families, just like traditional families.

I found this quote from an article, "What's important is not whether they are raised by one or two parents. It's how good is the relationship with the parent, how much support they're getting from that parent and how harmonious is the environment,” says Michael Lamb, a fatherhood expert (Jayson, 2008). Even though I grew up with only my mother (my parents are divorced), I had very strong relationship with my mom, which I felt helped me stay focused in school and avoid getting into trouble. Single parent families’ produce successful children just like a two-parent family, if not better. Michael Lamb believes the crucial component of successful children comes from the relationship between the child and the parent (Jayson, 2008). Basically, Michael Lamb is saying whether it is two parents or one parent, it doesn’t really matter. What matters are the relationships within the family; the stronger these relationships are, the stronger the family will become.

In another article that I read, Elaine Henry discusses why family is so important in her article, Family Matters. She states, “A supportive family environment for children, especially in the earliest weeks and months after they are born, greatly increases their chances for optimal cognitive, social-emotional and physical development as well as for better learning outcomes and more successful transitions from home to school and through other life transitions” (p.46, Henry, 2006). Furthermore, for adults to be socially responsible, independent and have the basic skills to participate in the workforce come from this supportive environment and with early education (Henry, 2006). Basically, Elaine Henry believes that parents have the tools and ability to create successful adults and it all starts with support and care at an early age. This early support and care will lead to a stronger relationship with parents and their children, which reinforce why families matter.

Another piece of information that I found is how crucial support is for families, especially for single parents. Single parents along with other non-traditional families (e.g. stepparents, adoptive) rely on support from extended family, whereas a traditional family has both parents who can rely on each other. If there is a lack of support, it can cause and lead to harmful environments that become a damage to a child’s development, which may lead to getting into trouble as a teenager or adult (Wolcott, 2000).

In addition to Pollack’s argument (an author from an article I found), he also mentions how a father’s role is far from insignificant and if a child is not living with both biological parents (due to divorce or separation) it is crucial for the child to have a strong relationship with both parents. Families produce children who become successful adults. These young adults must give back to society, to the best of their ability. However, when families are faced with harsh factors (e.g. single parenting), then the family faces difficulty. It is through this difficulty that can make or break new adults. Furthermore, how children are raised affects society as a whole and whether there are successful or not, the cycle repeats.

A family is bonded by relationships and nothing in our world can replicate the feelings of love and comfort that our families create. Nevertheless, families matter, a lot. Separated or not, families are what anchors us to tradition, family morals, and it reminds us who we are, where we came from. It is a foundation that is hard to create and hard to break. It is what makes us unique. Families matter and so do the relationships within the family. Without strong family relationships, people could problems with parenting, dating, and even living in society. Families make us who we are and without them, we are lost.

References:

Wolcott, J. (2000, September 13). Solo With A Son. Christian Science Monitor , p. 15.

Bell, H. (2002). Traditional Family. Retrieved February 2, 2013, from Work and Family Researchers Network: http://workfamily.sas.upenn.edu/glossary/t/traditional-family-definitions

Henry, E. (2006). Families Do Matter. Family Matters ((74)), 46-47.

Jayson, S. (2008, 08 08). Single moms' sons can succeed, new research shows. Retrieved 02 28, 2013, from USA Today: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-08-27-single-moms-succeed_N.htm