What is support in a family? Support can be defined as
many different things. In the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary it states that
support is “1: to endure bravely or quietly 2: to provide with food, clothing,
and shelter 3: to up hold or serve as a foundation for” (Merriam-Webster, 2007).
People define support in their own ways, but when it comes down to it, the more
support someone has in their life, the better they will succeed. Take a single parent family, a traditional
family, or your extended family members; they all contribute to supporting you
or even needing the support themselves. In this post I will be focusing mainly on
support in a single parent family.
Support is not a one sided relationship, those who
receive support are more likely to return the favor. In a study I came across while researching
support, the researchers found that children who supported their mothers were
more likely to have received support back (Suitor, J. J. & Sechrist, J.,
2006). Support can vary between each person. Certain people need more support
than others, and some people need support in ways that differ from others.
For
example: a single mother with three children will distribute support too each
child differently. With the first child
she may support them by going to school activities. The second child seeks support by asking
questions knowing that you will provide truthful advice. Finally the third child could merely want
acknowledgement of daily tasks that they have completed.
I
went ahead and decided to interview my friend of a single parent family on her
views of support in her family. After the interview I came to the conclusion
that support is very significant to her and her family. She lives with her grandparents, mother, and
brother. Her family has been through
many trials throughout their lives, but because of support they always make the
best of every situation. Her mother has worked three jobs ever since she had
become a single mother to support her family. Without the support of the
grandparents their family wouldn’t have a place to live. I ended the interview by asking her for one
piece of advice she would give to others about support in a single parent
family she said, “when nothing seems to work out for you, don’t give up because
their will always be someone there to lend a helping hand”.
To
end my post I would like to provide a list of suggestions that may help you
incorporate support in your everyday lives.
- Attend a school event that your child is involved in.
- Give advice when needed.
- Be there emotionally and physically
- If you say something make sure that you go through with it.
- Congratulate them on something simple. (Doing the dishes or acing that test they studied for.)
Last but not least remember, what goes around comes around.
Support
Others!
References
Suitor,
J. J. & Sechrist, J. (2006). Within-family differences in mothers’ support
to adult children. Psychological Sciences
and Social Sciences.
Merriam-Webster
(2007). Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus. Integrated Language Tools. Pg. 803
Excellent advice Courtney! I too have seen a study that confirmed if a single parent has support from extended family and other outside resources, it negates much of the challenges a single parent faces raising a child alone. It takes a village, right? Looking forward to the rest of your posts!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment Eric! Support is such an important part in every single persons life!
DeleteMy sister is a single parent and I she often needs to support her children differently. They are two different children with different needs. I know she also looks to different sources for support and is always able to find someone, even if it's just a listening ear.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great life experience Karlia! Thank you for sharing! Support is such an important thing for everyone to have in their life and I bet that your sister greatly appreciates it when you are their for her!
Delete