Book Review: Super Single Parenting

Book Review: Oliver

Throughout the last few weeks, I have been searching for a book that I felt could really relate to single parents. I found books on being a successful mother with sons, a successful father with twins, and even books on single Irish parenting. However, it wasn’t long until I came across Thomas Taylor’s book Super Single Parenting – Raising Kids On Your Own & Having A Happy, Stable Life.

What I like about this book, Super Single Parenting, is it’s ability to break down many common and simple things every parent experiences. Taylor’s focus is of course on the perspective of single parenting, however, does an amazing job talking about topics such as dating, how to set boundaries, and much. Before I give a quick summary of what Taylor’s advice to you as a single parent, I wanted to share his story about his experiences, which lead him to write this book.

Thomas began his fatherhood with someone whom he loved in a “non-traditional” relationship (not being married, but having a child together). He explains how he was in love and that the relationship felt normal and positive. Unfortunately, this did not last and before Thomas could realize, he was now a single father. Instead of feeling sorry and doubtful, Thomas decided to make himself happy in life, more importantly he decided that his daughter would be happy in life as well. The first step in achieving this happy lifestyle is “to have a life that is full of energy and freedom from the past” (Taylor, 2013, p. 7). I love this and I feel that it really speaks to parents when first faced with becoming a single parent. His advice is simple, I see it as live life free from the past. Whether you are a single parent or not, this is great advice regardless!

Thomas breaks his book up into three sections: your New Family, your Child, and the last is about You. He explains that these three topics are crucial to living a happy life! Below is some advice that Thomas talks about, which covers a range of different components that everyone can face as a single parent.

1.     Setting Up Boundaries – This does not focus on just the rules and limits with the family, but the factor of honesty with your child. Saying, “Because I said so” to your child as an answer to their question, doesn’t help the relationship. Better, let your child know that these “rules” and limits are designed to protect the family as a whole. Thus, this “equality” with your child will put you high in their eyes and will allow them to be more understanding.

2.     Doing “Double Duty” – This advises you to have a dual role of disciplinarian and nurturer with your child. You might disagree or don’t understand how these polar opposites are consistent. However, Thomas believes that “in being a disciplinarian it gives you an opportunity to be consistent as a provider/nurturer” (Taylor, 2013, p. 31)

3.     Dating With Younger Children – Dating is going to be a component of your life in some way or another. Thomas gives tips on how to have a fun relationship, without making your child feel left out. One of these is doing activities with both your partner and your child that is inclusive of what your child likes. Keep the communication open and be honest/genuine with your child throughout your dating life.

4.     Becoming “Self-Appointed” in Your Life – Thomas argues the biggest architect of your life, is yourself! By creating a life where you are “self-appointed” means that you have the ability to create the life that you have always wanted. Thomas haves tips and guidelines on how you should become a master of your words and actions, which ultimately affect the life you want for your child

(Taylor, 2013)

In conclusion, this is a very simple book that almost anyone can understand Thomas’s points and can apply the practices within this book to their lives. To make the reading easier and more engaging, Thomas adds “>>” two arrows to indicate that there’s a tip for you (that you should know) and he provides “..” two dots that reveals an exercise for the reader, which makes reading more engaging. These exercises are actions that Thomas has taken as a single parent and explains how they can too help you in your life.

Reference: 

Taylor, T. (2013). Super Single Parenting - Raising Kids On Your Own & Having A Happy, Stable Life. Soilhull, England: Thomas Taylor.